Every well-built marriage starts with a firm foundation created with a willingness to communicate on a deeper level, a desire to serve your partner's needs before your own, and courageously not keep secrets from each other. As a provider of mental health therapy, my premarriage counseling curriculum will help you and your partner learn how to do those things. In my 8-week program, I offer a comprehensive questionnaire along with counseling services, and a family history chart to help you and your partner get to know each other more deeply and love each other more openly than ever before. Each session is once a week for 50 minutes. Each session is $60 per couple.
In this first session, we explore what brought you and your partner together. I love the backstory of "How we met". I will then discuss attachment styles and we'll discover yours. Finally, I will offer you the Pre-Marriage Inventory, a 100 question survey designed to reveal you, to you. You will be surprised by the questions, but you will be enlightened by your answers.
This week is an individual session with one partner and me to discuss more private and specific issues. Sometimes we have skeletons in our closet that the partner doesn't know about. In this individual session, we discuss those sensitive issues and will strategize how to discuss them with your future spouse. I take your confidentiality very seriously and will not reveal any part of our conversation to your partner without your written consent.
In this session, I discuss how your needs will effect the quality of your relationship. Using a worksheet, I help you discover your top three needs. You will be surprised by what they are, and are not. I then strategize with you on how to get those needs met and how to meet your partner's needs. At the end of this session, you will literally put those needs in your back pocket or purse.
You are not an island all by yourself. You came from a diverse and complex family background. That family history will be explored through the use of a genogram. A genogram is a flowchart of your family. We will explore the emotional and psychological history of your family so you can better visualize the impact of your upbringing and from that decide how your future will look.
In the second session, you and your partner return your completed questionnaires and we discuss them. No judgment is ever passed and don't worry, I lead the conversation and keep it light, but informative! Many couples report this "opened their eyes" about why they do and think certain ways. It leads to fruitful discussions about expectations and lessens surprises later in your marriage.
This week is an individual session with the other partner and me to discuss more private and specific issues. Sometimes we have skeletons in our closet that the partner doesn't know about. In this individual session, we discuss those sensitive issues and will strategize how to discuss them with your future spouse. I take your confidentiality very seriously and will not reveal any part of our conversation to your partner without your written consent.
The number one issue I see in marriage counseling is communication issues. In this session, I teach you how to communicate on a deeper level and learn how to listen to the emotional content of words, not just the words alone. I also teach how to argue fairly and guide you on creating 10 Rules of Engagement to follow while in an argument.
In this final session, we discuss two topics: sexual purity and privacy. In sexual purity, I present the research that strongly advises against introducing pornography into your marriage. I call online porn "digital adultery". Second, in privacy, we will discuss your expectations of privacy in the age of social media and digital devices. Many couples struggle with whether they should allow their spouse access to their social media; some are bothered with what to do with those old social media memories and "friends".